The life that I wanted

The phrase “the life that I wanted” has a particular and different meaning in the life of each one of us just like the morphemes of a word with their unique and different meaning. I mean, what is the life are you living?  Maybe you are grateful to yourself for the decision you made in the past and you see it reflected nowadays or maybe you question yourself with some dissatisfaction, the life that I wanted was…! Obviously, this phrase takes on a different meaning in both your life and mine.

Exactly 5 years ago, when I was 18 years old, I was very sure of what I wanted for myself.  I knew what I desired and what did not desire. What I did not aspire to was to go to university and stand inside a cold classroom for a long period of time observing the students participate and, after a while, withdraw into themselves. My true aspiration was to spend the rest of my life in a place where the daylight hours were filled with adrenaline and the nights would be freezing cold waiting for the din of a busy day to cease. This place had the name “Ecuadorian Army”. 

I did what I wanted for a period of time. I changed my mind because the essence of my being was beginning to sink into the non-credible. The non-credible is known to most as “a place where the welfare of a people is watched over”. For this reason, the phrase "the life I wanted" has a particular meaning in my life. That was the life I wanted 5 years ago, but I wanted a few seconds ago, it was to keep letting my soul express itself through these words, but by the time you finish reading this, it will have become something I wanted.